Today’s assignment is to write the post that was on my mind when I decided to start this blog…
Writing isn’t easy for me – in fact most things don’t come easily to me. I have huge insecurities. Lack of confidence makes me hesitant to try things. This same lack of confidence also causes me to stop the new things I’ve found the courage to begin. Maybe that makes me a coward. I’m trying to work on that.
In order to be brave, I have to focus on something simple. In writing a blog, I have to focus on my goal for beginning – to write everyday. I’ve done well so far with this Zero to Hero challenge. Yesterday, though I didn’t create a post, I did rewrite my “about me” section. I think I rewrote it about 5 times then was finally fed up and saved it. I want to give an honest representation of who I am, but am afraid. I don’t want to come across as arrogant or pathetic. And, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to share who I really am with the world. I want to remain hidden. I cling to a piece of myself that’s only mine. Does that make sense? It’s my safe place where no one can touch me.
As I struggle to find authenticity for my “technological” identity, I keep circling back to a few questions:
1. How do I remain humble in a world where over sharing is commonplace?
2. How do I present myself honestly without giving too much of myself away?
3. How do I begin to have “real” connections with other people in this transient sphere of society?
4. How do I find the courage to keep going with my blog, even if I’m embarrassed by my own thoughts?
Sometimes I wish I had an “off switch” for my mind. I have so many questions.
It’s so easy to fabricate who we are. How do people build trust through an online experience? Or, is it stupid of me to crave an honest connection with people, electronically? Do we live in a world of fancy images designed to lure in “likes” and followers without consideration of content? Feelings and thoughts expressed with expectation tied to the number of hits received? Is that what having a blog is all about? Because, that’s not what I want. I want a dialogue. I want to listen (read) and share ideas. I want to begin my own personal revolution resulting in gaining a little more confidence. Is that too much to ask?
And so, I begin this journey in blogging. I pray for modesty, integrity, authenticity, and confidence. Wish me luck!